Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs

When thinking about the emotional needs of a child, love and affection are the first parts that come to mind. Meeting the emotional needs of a child helps both teachers and parents raise competent and capable children; children who feel accepted and loved for exactly who they are.

We come into the world with certain basic emotional necessities: the need to feel loved and the requirement to develop positive self-esteem. As a teacher, it is our job to be aware of these desires and communicate with students in a way that will support their positive growth.

There are some emotional needs that are relevant for all ages, adults included. The vast majority of us have an intrinsic need for approval from a very young age. Approval from parents, friends, teachers, siblings…the feeling of being accepted, praised or commended for your actions is something we all want in order to feel fulfilled and accepted.

Children have a strong need for love, which begins at birth. The tiny infant feels fragile and is completely dependent upon their carers. They are fed and comforted, these people are the ones who make them feel valuable. This loving care helps children build trust in other people and feel safe in the world.

When they start school, students learn how to live away from their primary caregivers. They meet their teachers and begin to engage in social networks with other young people. They gain a sense of independence from their education and become more able to express their emotions and feelings.

As they grow, children continue to need love and attention. When your 8-year-old student shows you their science project, they require positive feedback before you start on the errors. If your 11-year-old fails a maths quiz, they need your support to know that, despite this setback, they are still valuable.

So what are the ways teachers can show love and support? It is in the eyes, words, actions and smile that your students form an image of themselves. Children desperately want to feel that they are valuable. They seek your approval as a teacher, as someone who cares for them on a daily basis. Providing students a good feeling about themselves is one of the greatest challenges presented to a teacher. The goal in working with this issue is to communicate with them positively, which means choosing your words and actions carefully. You can critique a piece of work, you need to explain where they have gone wrong with answers, because your job is to make them improve in all areas of their life. But responding with warmth and appreciation, rather than yelling with negative comments, will provide students with the feeling of being secure and loved in class. That they are able to try and that making mistakes is all part of the journey to success.

Being a Year 2 and 3 teacher, I try to be on my toes and not miss a moment when one of my students needs my support, approval or appreciation. That mediocre drawing they drew in Golden Time is probably their most important achievement in the last hour and it’s extremely likely they will want me to look at it right after they are back to class from EA. How I reflect on it is most likely what will have the biggest impact on the rest of their day. Those smiles that light up their faces after they hear my praise are priceless. It only takes me a few seconds to stop and listen, but it may take the whole evening for a child to share their day at home and store this pride in their memory for a long time after that.

Our emotional needs are what make us different from the animal world. We are complex creatures and require positive interactions from other humans to fulfil us. Making time for the emotional needs of students is imperative. The different stages of development in children create new challenges in understanding the emotional needs of a child. Of course, every person – and thus every child – is different, but being open to emotional intelligence can be the start of a mature, highly communicative and positive relationship with your students.

Miss Diana, Year 2/3 Co-Teacher.